Lilypay Blog
Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Loved One: A Parent’s Guide
Support your child through grief with practical, age-appropriate guidance. Learn how to talk about death, answer tough questions, and create space for healing after the loss of a loved one.
Losing a loved one is never easy - and for children, it can be especially confusing and overwhelming. As adults, we often struggle to find the right words, fearing we’ll say too much, or not enough. But supporting a child through grief isn’t about having the perfect answers - it’s about showing up with patience, honesty, and love.
1. Use Clear and Honest Language
Avoid euphemisms like “they went to sleep” or “passed on” - they can be confusing to children and even create unnecessary fear. Instead, use gentle but direct language like, “Grandma died. That means her body stopped working, and she isn’t coming back.” Be prepared to repeat yourself as they process.
2. Let Them Express Emotion (In Their Own Way)
Children may cry, act out, or ask surprising questions. Others may seem unaffected - then bring it up weeks later. All responses are normal. Create space for their feelings without judgment. Art, play, and stories can be powerful tools for helping children express what they can’t put into words.
3. Maintain Routine, But Be Flexible
Grief disrupts the sense of safety and control. Maintaining daily routines (meals, bedtime, school) can help children feel grounded. At the same time, be flexible - grief isn’t linear, and they may need more time, attention, or reassurance than usual.
4. Answer Questions Honestly - Even the Hard Ones
Children may ask where the person is now, what happens to the body, or if someone else will die next. It’s okay to say “I don’t know” if you’re unsure. What matters most is offering truthful, age-appropriate responses and reinforcing that they’re safe and loved.
5. Include Them in the Goodbye (If They Want To)
Let children decide if they want to attend the funeral or write a letter to place with the loved one. Involvement helps them understand the reality of the loss and say goodbye in their own way. Just make sure they understand what to expect beforehand.
Grief is a long journey - for adults and children alike. But with honesty, patience, and love, you can help your child begin to understand and heal, one small step at a time.
If you or your family need more support, don’t hesitate to speak with a grief counselor or pediatric therapist. You’re not alone - and neither are they.